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I have to say I keep on coming back to this one, its key!

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I feel grateful I can be of service

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Interesting. I've never felt my life had a telos; plenty of self-interested people have tried to sell me on their chosen one, but I stay skeptical. On the other hand, I putter about half the time, amusing myself or wasting time on Substack. How does one acquire purpose when one see none? I have no interest in the typical things of humanity: sex, family, tribal loyalties. Yet I lack the rigor to be a philosopher.

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I think its a fair start to assume that your life as a whole doesn't have a clear single telos. But every activity does have some end to it. For example, maybe you walk your dog to achieve the end of keeping your dog healthy. But maybe its because there is something intrinsically good about walking your dog. It's not about something external. Even if you walk the dog so that it'll be healthy, then you can ask- "and why that?" until you reach a stop where the activity is meaningful in itself.

On the question of how to discover what actions are meaningful- the best answer is in reflection. What kinds of things do you love? What are you passionate about? The answer to discovering your purpose is to taste and chase down the best of what you know. Horizons expand as you walk down paths, so you just have to know what seems most promising- not to decide on the end goal.

I feel a bit presumptions giving such advice, but it's things I've seen in my own life and have heard from great sages.

And----- Thanks for commenting! Always nice to see some activity here. Makes me feel appreciated and gives me validation in my belief in my works value.

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I don't love anything; don't ontologically believe in love. If I ever had a passion for anything (besides a desire to be left alone), I lost it to mental illness and never got it back. Right now, I'm just casting about.

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I'm really sorry to hear that.

I don't know the details of your situation, but it sounds really rough. I hope you can find passion and love in activities in life soon. Don't worry about ontologically existing love, just noticing the phenomenological is enough. You can think about it like colors, which don't ontologically exist either.

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